I understand the shift in her posture and my skin thrills from her touch as much as it does from the realization that I'm not afraid. In my family, it is discouraged to want, but in this moment I do, deeply and selfishly. Allison is warm above me, her touch certain. It doesn't matter that I've barely ever been with anyone, because I trust Allison.

Trusting and wanting and indulging in both of those things. They are foreign luxuries in our world. Finding them with Allison is significant and real. I'm not embarrassed for how small or thin I am, not with her.

I am selfish and brave and I replicate the gesture along Allison's stomach, slowly spreading my fingers across her abdomen and up.