[The ready answer on her lips is 'yes,' but it's not an honest answer. It's a selfish answer, one coming from her heart...a broken heart she can no longer trust. Her heart screams yes, it's him, it's only ever been him and I can't stand another second without that smile he gives me that makes me forget I ever felt pain.

But her head knows better. Her head reminds her heart, gently, that Scott isn't the only one she loves. She's here for Stiles, too...she's here for both of them so Scott won't have to turn his best friend, and Stiles won't lose his humanity to the Nogitsune.

She's not just a hunter, she's a Warden...And she had to be true to that.

So she ignores her heart and answers with her head.]

No, I wouldn't. I broke up with him for a reason, Lydia...I still have too much to make up for, too much...blood on my hands.

[She sighs, flopping back to lay on the bed and draws a shaky sigh as one lone tear leak out of the corner of her eye and slides down her temple, into her hairline.]

Maybe if I graduate my first inmate...maybe if I can save Stiles...maybe then it'll be enough. It'll also be too late, and I know that. So...it'll pass.

[More silent tears are sliding out of her eyes. She lets them...she ignores them, but she lets them go, her voice still steady as she continues.]

It always does. Something will remind me I've lost him forever, and I'll be in pain for a little while. Then it'll pass, and I'll be okay again...ready to go. [She looks over at Lydia, and she finally has to sniffle as the tears lodge in her throat.]

Ready to fight. [Just like a good soldier.]