[This was totally not how this should have gone down. There's an ache building in him - regret, self-loathing, sickness in the pit of his stomach. If he was a better person, he would have jumped in when he saw Lydia start talking to Erica, explained it himself. But he couldn't. He just couldn't make himself do it. Of course she'd hate it and how the hell was he supposed to deal with that when Allison means so much to him? How was he supposed to handle this without someone getting hurt? So he'd been a coward instead, turning his comm off for a while and trying to ride out the wave of nausea washing over him.
It's a while later, after he turns the comm back on, sees Erica's last response (and that in particular breaks something in him, because of course there's a point: they're still pack, closer than family, but she's been dead to him for months and he loves Allison, and both of those facts are true and they both hurt) and replays the whole conversation.
He should have been the one to tell her. In person, in private. She deserves better.
He really fucked this up.
It almost feels like he's having a panic attack, like the walls are closing in around him, his breath coming out in short bursts. He shuts that feeling down as best he can, then plunges in before he can talk himself out of doing it. He doesn't switch the feed to private immediately, though he thinks about it; it's his mess, let the rest of them see he's trying to fix it.]
[pack filter]
It's a while later, after he turns the comm back on, sees Erica's last response (and that in particular breaks something in him, because of course there's a point: they're still pack, closer than family, but she's been dead to him for months and he loves Allison, and both of those facts are true and they both hurt) and replays the whole conversation.
He should have been the one to tell her. In person, in private. She deserves better.
He really fucked this up.
It almost feels like he's having a panic attack, like the walls are closing in around him, his breath coming out in short bursts. He shuts that feeling down as best he can, then plunges in before he can talk himself out of doing it. He doesn't switch the feed to private immediately, though he thinks about it; it's his mess, let the rest of them see he's trying to fix it.]
Erica?