theresalwayshope | 001} video: if love is what you need, a soldier i will be

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001} video: if love is what you need, a soldier i will be

[When the video switches on, Allison's face fills the screen in extreme close-up, an intensely thoughtful look on her features as she struggles to navigate the function of her communicator.]

C'mon...are you even on? [Her voice is low and impatient...then her expression comes alive when she realizes she's on display. Flinching a little, then smiling at her work, she backs up enough to be seen, visible seated at the desk in her cabin.]

Hi. [She smiles and offers up a little wave, then pauses for a moment before laughing as she lets her gaze drop.] Okay, this is way weirder than I thought it was going to be.

[She starts talking with her hands a little, not quite speaking to the communicator anymore.] I guess...I'm just restless. Out of practice, I haven't had to move around for a long time. I haven't been assigned to anyone just yet, but I know I will be. And I just want to introduce myself, you know? Put myself out there for anyone who wants my help. And I honestly do want to help. It's why I came.

[She lifts her head more fully, looking into the communicator with something a little different in her gaze...a little less friendly teenager and a little harder, a little older.]

It's...one reason I came.

[The moment passes, the look fades, and her smile brightens again as she takes a steadying breath.]

But I'm not here to complain about myself, right? So! Um... [A hand goes to her chest as she gestures to herself.] My name is Allison, I'm from Beacon Hills, California...and if any of you need anything at all? Just let me know. I look forward to getting to know everyone!

[She shifts, and part of her body moves out of the picture.]

Now if you'll excuse me...I still have to get settled in.

[She turns around to survey the rest of her room...neat as a pin, in perfect order...not a lot to be settled, really.]

Or...not...

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[Maybe she ought to take a shower. Relax, try to get some sleep...after all, she'd just helped hijack an armored car and bargained away a good chunk of her life to save one of her best friends...that was enough to exhaust anyone.

She's just decided on a shower, then to sharpen her ring daggers when she hears the voice. She was already standing, taking her hair down...and if that husky female voice didn't sound so small and so beaten, she could swear it was Lydia talking to her. The thought makes her smile sadly.]

Just a minute! [She makes her voice cheerful and friendly again as she toes off her sneakers and finishes pulling her hair to fall loose around her shoulders, easing some of the tension at her temples that's been threatening her with the promise of a headache for hours now.] Sorry, I was just about to pop into the shower, good thing you--

[She turns, and the video image on her comm...

She wasn't supposed to be here. The break had been clean: she made her deal and left. She was on her own here...her friends, her pack, were back home and soon Stiles would be cured. Human. The fantasy of her pack, whole and happy, was the one thing that made leaving something she could handle.

She wasn't supposed to be here...and the selfish part of Allison suddenly wants to cry with happiness for that fact, except that she looks terrible. She looks worn, exhausted, like she'd just rolled out of bed only worse.

Allison can't even let herself think her name as she moves back over to peer into her comm. If she thinks it, if she says it, then it's real...and shes actually here.

Allison is a selfish, horrible person. She knows it for certain as she opens her mouth, her voice breathless and sickeningly hopeful.]

...Lydia?

[When Allison answers her, her face crumbles. Lydia shakes her head and runs a hand over her face. Clearly it isn't real. The dead can't make deals with the Admiral, can they? And Allison would never come in as an Inmate. Not when she died trying to save her.

But when her best friend says her name, Lydia can't hold back the tears anymore. She stares at the small screen for a moment longer then drops it on her bed as she slowly gets up and heads to the door. She opens it and looks around for a moment.

They are definitely back at the Barge. Is there a Flood immediately following the Port?

She closes the door again and turns toward her bed once more, but she just stares at the comm for a moment. And then she approaches it and picks it up again.]

Are we at the Barge? [She doesn't expect Allison to know, really. She's not there. This is just a Flood.]

[There's a single, heartsick moment when Allison thinks Lydia might have just arrived. That she might not know where she is...

The Admiral wouldn't do that. He offered to save Stiles, he asked her to help save souls. Lydia was innocent, she'd never done a thing to warrant it.

When she asks if they're on the Barge, her heart finally starts beating again.]

We are. We're on the Barge. [She still can't quite breathe right, because she can't be totally sure...]

Lydia...God, Lydia, please tell me you weren't brought here against your will. [Her voice breaks on the last couple of words, and she's ready to go get her ring daggers. She's ready to find the Admiral, to earn Lydia's freedom in blood if she's an Inmate. It fills her not with rage or anger, but a cold, liquid stillness at her center. It's the white noise of a rushing stream, it fills her like water fills a cup, and she will sleep with that blood on her hands.

She will sleep, deep and blissful, with the thick copper smell and the red heat staining her skin, in her own Inmate's cabin if need be, if a soul like Lydia's has been condemned by anyone.]

[It doesn't even occur to Lydia that she might have given Allison the impression that she is an Inmate. She's still tired, there's dirt all over her clothes and hair. But she barely feels it because Allison is talking to her. And she wants to hold on to this dream just a little longer before she wakes up screaming her name. For now, she's safe in her own head.]

No. No, we were at the Port. I think we're still there.

[Or maybe this is reality. Maybe Allison is there and she can see and hear her because she's a banshee. She tried talking to Allison before she came. She wanted to make sure she was okay, that she was moving on.

She talked to her that night, after they got home from school. After everyone had left her alone.

Maybe she needed time. And now she's there.]

Why are you here? Do you need anything?

[The more she hears, the more she's convinced that Lydia's here for the wrong reasons. The stillness floods her, and she's certain that she ought to be shivering, she's so cold and dead inside.

She's only ever felt like this once before, and on that occasion, she very nearly killed Boyd.]

Lydia? [She's so still, so perfectly steady and still inside, but her voice is shaking when she speaks again. In an angry, distant sort of way, it surprises her.] Lydia, I need you to tell me what room you're in, okay? The number's on your door, just...can you get up and check for me? Please?

[She's already moving, tying her hair back up and grabbing the denim shirt she'd untied from around her waist as she calls out over her shoulder.]

Tell me where you are. I will come find you, we will find the Admiral, and we will fix this. Okay? Please, Lydia, just tell me where you are.

517. [She answers automatically, and then she realizes Allison is determined about something, she hears it in her voice and sees it on her expression. Maybe she doesn't know. Maybe she doesn't realize she is gone.

Which means, Allison needs her. Even if this is a dream, even if she's not really there, she can't take any chances. Because she is a banshee and there is no one she wants to help more than her best friend.

She's already failed her once.

So she tries her best to snap out of this state she's in. Shaking her head, she takes a deep breath and stands up straight.]

Allison, I'm alright. Listen. Stay here with me. I don't know if I'll be here even if you find your way to my cabin.

But I'll help you. No matter what, even if it's just through here. Stay with me.

I'm coming to you. [Her tone is hard, brooking no argument as she moves to her bed and pulls out the ring dagger tucked under her pillow. She turns back to the comm as she grabs the sheath for her daggers off the nightstand, sliding it home with a flat, stony look.]

I'm going to fix this. [No matter how much blood. No matter how many bodies...but she would do it right. It would be neat.

And the first step is to make sure Lydia's all right.

The sheath fits neatly down the front pocket of her overalls...it's not stealthy, but it'll do long enough to travel three levels to reach Lydia's room. Walking over, she grabs her comm and looks into it, her expression stern and her eyes flinty with cold fury, though her voice is as even and reassuring as she can manage.]

Just stay put, and stay calm, okay? I'm coming to find you...I swear, I'm going to fix this.

[Switching off the comm, Allison tucks it away and storms out of her room. She moves through the ship's corridors with brisk efficiency, quick but not rushing. She doesn't want to draw attention to herself, so she doesn't ask for directions. It takes her longer than she wanted, as a result, to find room 517, and she only spots it because she recognizes the door to Lydia's bedroom. Once she sees it, she makes a beeline for it and pounds with the flat of her hand, five times before calling out...]

Lydia? Lydia, it's me, open up!

No. No, Allison, don't-- [She stares at the feed, but it's too late. She doesn't even know if she's really back at the Barge. She doesn't even know if she's awake or what is causing her to have hallucinations about talking to Allison.

Lydia doesn't move, she stands there by her bed, staring down at the comm, and eventually closes her eyes, trying to concentrate, to either wake up or hear Allison again. Somehow.

But then, she hears the knocking and her eyes snap open. Lydia turns toward the door with wide eyes.

She expects it to be Stiles. Maybe Scott. But then Allison calls out for her and her stomach clenches. Her eyes are tearing up and her hand is over her mouth before she can even fully process what is happening.

Allison speaks again and Lydia finally moves, as soon as she opens the door, a sob escapes her. Because her best friend really is standing there.

Lydia drops her hand from over her mouth, tears spilling from her eyes.]

Are you really here?

[When she opens the door, Allison can only stare for a moment, aghast...she looks so broken. She's in pieces, standing there with tears in her eyes, exhaustion etched across the slump of her shoulders and in the circles threatening under her eyes...

She's already counting every drop of blood she'll spill in recompense for every tear that leaves Lydia's eyes.]

I'm here...I'm here, sweetie. [She moves forward and wraps Lydia in a hug, her voice soothing and low, but still tellingly cold as she rubs Lydia's back. She has no tears, not right now...she'll weep for Lydia's suffering once she's made the proper people pay for it.

First Lydia. First her safety, first her health...then she would hunt.]

You're okay...I've got you. I'll fix this...you're okay, shhh...

[At first, all Lydia can do is hold on to Allison. Her arms wrapped tightly around her best friend as she checks for signs that she is real. That she's alive. And she gets them all: Allison is breathing, her skin feels warm and as far as Lydia can tell, her heart is beating.

And then, she realizes how wrong this sounds.

Allison isn't supposed to be the one to fix anything. She died trying to save her. Because of her own shortcomings as a banshee.]

Allison, what are you saying? [Lydia asks as she pulls away, but drops her hands from around Allison to grasp her hands. Because what if she disappears when Lydia lets go?]

What do you think you have to fix?

[Allison's hard expression falters just a little, because...there's something about the way Lydia says it that doesn't feel quite like before, not lost and dazed and confused, but...more like she might know what's happening.

So she frowns just a bit, head tipping slightly. Her mouth opens, then closes without speaking.]

You...being here...Lydia, do you know why you're here?

Yes? I came here, Allison. I made a deal.

[Lydia is confused for a second and then her eyes widen as she realizes what Allison meant.

She quickly shakes her head and squeezes Allison's hands. She thought she was an inmate. And then Lydia can't help but wonder if Allison doesn't know. If she has no idea about what happened to her.]

Allison, I'm a Warden. Why are you here?

[Something goes out of Allison's posture at Lydia's explanation...a tension, a readiness, but it's not until the word Warden leaves her mouth that the cold, liquid stillness drains out of her eyes and her being.

She sags visibly, a rush of air leaving her as her head falls forward.]

I'm a Warden, too, I just got here...damn it, Lydia.

[There's no real heat in her words, and she swiftly jerks her hands out of Lydia's so she can pull her into another hug. The huntress is gone, and she's just Allison again: shaky with relief and overwhelmed once more with emotions she's had to work very hard to kill.

Lydia's a Warden. Somehow, she's here, and she's a Warden, and she's safe.

And that knowledge heals something in Allison she didn't realize was broken after choosing to leave her friends and family behind to take the Admiral's deal.]

[Lydia sees the change in her, and she almost wishes she didn't. Because there are a lot more emotions on Allison's face now than there had been a moment ago.

And that makes it so much harder for her to keep herself together.

So when Allison hugs her again just as her face is about to start crumbling, Lydia hugs her tightly once more. Relieved. Both for being given some time without answering more questions and for not having to break down in front of her again.

She also takes time to process the fact that Allison also made a deal. Her own deal and Scott's had to do with keeping Stiles safe and bringing her back. Lydia couldn't help but wonder what Allison needs. And how much she knows.

Eventually, she loosens her grip on her best friend and pulls back enough to look at her.]

And you just got here? Are you okay?

[She nods as Lydia looks into her face...and she can see something there, something she thinks was part of the earlier confusion and odd behavior, and none of it does anything to lessen her worry.]

I'm fine...Lydia, I'm okay. [Taking Lydia by the shoulders, she steers her over to her bed, making her sit down on the edge. Her eyes are too bright, and she's too emotional because she has Lydia back, she's not alone and Lydia is here, so she falls back on something familiar and comfortable: she takes charge, she takes care of her best friend. It takes away from how adrift and overcome she suddenly feels without that cold fury to ground her, it keeps her from falling apart.] I just don't understand how this is possible.

[She sits on the edge of the bed beside Lydia, turning to face her as she tucks one leg up underneath her body.]

After the armored car heist, I didn't...I didn't know the Admiral came to anyone else. Why didn't you tell me? You didn't have to do this, I can do this for Stiles. You know that.

[Lydia isn't really used to being taken care of. She wasn't even used to taking care of people until the pack. Even with Jackson, who she really did love, they had their moments but normally they were bickering and trying to one-up each other.

With Allison though, they take care of each other. It's not always obvious because they are both strong, but it is there when they need the other. And right now, she lets her best friend sit her down on her own bed.

And then, with what Allison says next, it all makes sense. She has no idea.]

Stiles will be okay. I came to help him, too. We'll make it right.

[Allison frowns and smiles at the same time at Lydia's admission...that she made a deal for Stiles, a bargain to save him. It doesn't surprise her, but the thoughtless motivation behind the act does.]

You came here for Stiles? [She huffs with laughter, swatting at Lydia's arm lightly.] Lydia, I love you? But you're an idiot. I mean...what good is having a hunter in the pack if you don't let me do my job? [She's grinning now as she gestured around them.] Stuff like this for instance.

Allison, no. [She grows serious and shakes her head. This isn't fair, after all. Allison can't think she can just sacrifice herself for the rest of them. Again.]

We're a pack for a reason. It isn't on you to protect all of us all the time. We need to protect each other. [She needs to make sure she's alive when her deal is through.]

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001} video: if love is what you need, a soldier i will be

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