theresalwayshope | 001} video: if love is what you need, a soldier i will be

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001} video: if love is what you need, a soldier i will be

[When the video switches on, Allison's face fills the screen in extreme close-up, an intensely thoughtful look on her features as she struggles to navigate the function of her communicator.]

C'mon...are you even on? [Her voice is low and impatient...then her expression comes alive when she realizes she's on display. Flinching a little, then smiling at her work, she backs up enough to be seen, visible seated at the desk in her cabin.]

Hi. [She smiles and offers up a little wave, then pauses for a moment before laughing as she lets her gaze drop.] Okay, this is way weirder than I thought it was going to be.

[She starts talking with her hands a little, not quite speaking to the communicator anymore.] I guess...I'm just restless. Out of practice, I haven't had to move around for a long time. I haven't been assigned to anyone just yet, but I know I will be. And I just want to introduce myself, you know? Put myself out there for anyone who wants my help. And I honestly do want to help. It's why I came.

[She lifts her head more fully, looking into the communicator with something a little different in her gaze...a little less friendly teenager and a little harder, a little older.]

It's...one reason I came.

[The moment passes, the look fades, and her smile brightens again as she takes a steadying breath.]

But I'm not here to complain about myself, right? So! Um... [A hand goes to her chest as she gestures to herself.] My name is Allison, I'm from Beacon Hills, California...and if any of you need anything at all? Just let me know. I look forward to getting to know everyone!

[She shifts, and part of her body moves out of the picture.]

Now if you'll excuse me...I still have to get settled in.

[She turns around to survey the rest of her room...neat as a pin, in perfect order...not a lot to be settled, really.]

Or...not...

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[Allison is heading for the bathroom to get undressed for a shower when the frantic pounding on her cabin door sets off all the wrong reactions.

Her overalls are half undone, the apron hanging down where she unfastened one strap already. Her hair is loose, her feet are bare, and she feels a little like she's lost time, she bolts to her bed so quickly to pull out the ring dagger that's tucked under her pillow.

She has to stop for a moment to calm her hammering heart, remember how to breathe without hyperventilating as she shakes her head and rubs her free hand over her face.]

Just a minute! [Her voice doesn't crack or quaver, and she's proud of herself for that. It's light and cordial, if a little harried.

She doesn't put her dagger away, but she does let it swing free from her fingers, pointed safely downwards and pressed against her thigh as she walks across the room and opens her cabin door--

Scott.

He looks like he's been through...she can't even say, only that he's filthy and battered. He looks like he's been through a fight--no, a war, and it has her gripping her dagger a little tighter because she wasn't there to help, whatever it was...

There's no way he's supposed to be here. Why is he here? What about Stiles...oh God, she isn't ready for this. She was never ready for this, because this isn't supposed to be happening. Nobody's supposed to be here. She made a clean break so she could do this, so she could function and save Stiles, but now Scott's standing right in front of her...and all she wants to do is hug him.

She wasn't supposed to see him again, not for ages...maybe not even ever again. But he's here, and a hole in her heart she's forced herself to ignore is suddenly bleeding, raw, and aching for home.

She's heading into the shower anyway, so she doesn't pay any attention to the filth: mindful of the dagger in her hand, she keeps it tucked against her forearm rather than drop it while she suddenly throws herself into Scott's arms, holding it out of the way as she wraps her own around his neck and hugs him like she's clinging to the last lifeline the universe is ever going to throw her.]

[She's not answering. She's not answering, and he doesn't know what to do, except keep pounding his palm against the door. It stings, it's definitely overdoing it, but if she's here then she has to hear him. She--

She calls out, and Scott's heart actually skips a beat. He has to blink furiously to banish her face - her face after death, empty of everything that made her her - from his mind. His hand is still raised, palm red and smarting (and already fading, thanks to his returned strength) and hovering in the air. He must look like an idiot. He doesn't care.

When she hugs him - he barely sees the ring dagger, hardly registers it - he feels like the world is collapsing in on itself and expanding to impossible lengths at the same time. His arms are around her immediately, and he thinks distantly that maybe he's holding her too tight, but all his attention is on not crying. He can't just breakdown. She's not - she's not dead.

Scott has been on the Barge a long time, though. He knows what the Admiral is capable of, at least, he knows some of it. Maybe she made a deal when she died. Maybe she's from before that, like he was from before Stiles. He hates that nothing matches up anymore, that they can't be sure of what each other knows. So he squeezes his eyes shut and presses his face down against her shoulder.

She's his lifeline, right now. She was his anchor, and now that she's here, in his arms, he feels conversely adrift. How can he ever predict anything again? How can he ever expect what tomorrow will bring? Maybe that's a good thing. He never thought - he never expected to see her, not until Jack graduated. This is so much sooner than that, and he's afraid to let her go.]

Sorry, [he finally mumbles,opening his eyes. They're damp, he can tell that now, but there are no tear tracks on his face, and he'll consider that a win.] I'm so gross.

Shut up. [It's a whisper muffled by pressing her own face against his shoulder, not caring about the slide of dust against her cheek or the press of grit against her jaw...or even the tickle of dirt she knows will end in a sneeze.]

Just...shut up.

[She holds on as long and as tight as she can, and she's shocked at just how much feeling she had to cut out of herself to do this, to come here. It's a dark closet in her soul springing open, but instead of skeletons, things like safety and light and joy flooded out. Whether or not they were together, that was Scott in a nutshell. He was everything good and right and decent, and he was the thing that restored balance. When she was lost in grief and anger, he brought her back with wisdom and fairness, when she drew her arrow to spill necessary blood, he found a way so she wouldn't have to.

She was saving her compassion, her fairness, her happiness for the Inmate she needs to graduate to save Stiles. She only had enough for that person when she stepped onto the ship, but now...now she can have some for herself, too.

So she clings to Scott...until the moment she has to jerk back, turn her head aside, and sneeze into her arm...with her dagger still tucked against her forearm and now plainly visible.

As well as nearly shoved right in Scott's face.]

Jesus...I'm sorry. [She's laughing as she steps back and moves to set the dagger on the bed and returns promptly to wrap her arms around Scott again.] Sorry, I...

[You startled me. I wasn't expecting you. I can't believe you're here. She wants to say it all, but none of it comes out. She's streaked in his filth now, gritty with dirt from hugging him, and she's happier than she's been in months.

Grinning like an idiot, she caught his face between her hands and kissed him...a chaste, closed press of lips borne out of pure, giddy relief and jubilation.]

[He shuts up. It's so much easier to just say nothing, to tuck it all away and hold onto the fact that he's holding her. When she turns to sneeze, his half smile is aborted as he jerks his head back from the ring dagger, eyes widening. It's surprise, not fear. He can't be afraid of Allison. Not when she's laughing. Not ever.

He joins her laugh, smile inching back onto his face. He follows her into her room, just a couple steps, and doesn't even grunt when she throws herself back into his arms. He doesn't mind. He's not sure what her motivation is - he's terrified of what she knows - but he's not going to bring it up if she won't. He holds her tight instead, even lifting her briefly off the ground.

He's pulling back to tell her, don't be sorry, to not ever be sorry, but then she kisses him - just a little, the brush of lips against lips, and he doesn't know what to do. His eyes close reflexively, and there is a part of Scott - the part that will always, always love her, the part that never wanted to break up with her, the part that will do absolutely anything for her - that wants to deepen the kiss, forget that he's covered in grime and kiss her until he can't breathe.

It's almost uncomfortably like being in the Nogitsune's head again. But more than that, when he closes his eyes, he sees Daneca behind his eyelids. He sees a different brunette girl, a different smile, someone he doesn't ever want to hurt. So he pulls back, loosening his grip, sliding his hands to her shoulders again. They're not together anymore.

But she's alive. That's worth celebrating.

He still smiles, because he's so bad at not smiling when someone else is, because her grin is so contagious, even if it hurts a little, too.]

You're here.

[What else matters?]

[The pull for more was there...to touch, to take, to reclaim, but she'd already accepted that Scott would never be hers again. The pull would always be there, because they'd burned each other the day they fell in love. She'd accepted that the night they all laid down their lives to save their parents. She'd felt it, the shape of her hands scarred onto his heart, stinging when Isaac was identified as her anchor, and she'd felt the scars of his fingers burn when she saw him with Kira at the black light party.

She'd let him go that night, comforted by the sight of them together...by the fact that Kira's hands seemed to fit the shape of that scar Allison left behind. Whatever happened, she'd be careful with him.

It makes pulling away easier, and when she pulls back her smile is pure, no shadows of heartache left to make the brief embrace anything more or less than what it is. Scott isn't hers anymore...he's just Scott. He's her friend, and he's her alpha, which is just as important to her.]

Yeah, I am. [She's here...and so is he.

But...why is he here? What deal did he have to make with the Admiral? And when did he have a chance to make it?

And most importantly...]

...and you're...filthy. [The observation escapes her with a short, sudden laugh and a smile because it's the best she can handle at the moment. There are questions, and there are feelings...she's raw and aching and shaky with the sheer relief of having Scott with her in this strange place, and right now she'd rather laugh about his state of disarray than talk about what he sold his freedom for, or what she'd sold her soul for...

At least, that was what it felt like she was doing at the time.]

[A laugh drags itself out of his throat. He can't help it. Scott looks down at himself, turning his arms for a better look but managing not to quite let her go. What if he does, and - he wakes up? He shakes his head sharply, and a small cloud of dust and dirt descends from his hair. It's both for effect and just to make sure he isn't asleep.]

Yeah, we just got back from port. Like, last night.

[He tries to hide his smile, biting his lip, and finally lets go of her arms as he points to her shirt. It's real. She's here. He isn't going to wake up.] You kind of are now, too.

[For all that he's grateful for the distraction, he can't quiet the hum in the back of his thoughts. Does she know? Did she have to wipe blood from her mouth before she did her post? Did she needs to find different clothes, a shirt without a hole in it? He's scared of the answers either way, because while he doesn't want her to know - he doesn't ever want her to feel that - he saw how something ate at Stiles, when a year and too much knowledge separated them. Scott's afraid of what Allison will see in all their faces.]

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001} video: if love is what you need, a soldier i will be

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