theresalwayshope | 33) will i ever hear your voice again? the darkness is like an old friend...

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[When Allison returns to the Barge, she's happier than she's ever been. Paris was a perfect vacation, she's loaded down with new clothes, shoes, food, and souvenirs...and she's spent several days of her week in a luxurious borrowed bed with Isaac wrapped around her like a blanket.

She goes looking for her people, but they don't all show up right away. She waits to check on people as they seem to pop back in clusters, scans the network, and settles in to the task of unpacking, tending her animals...she has plenty to keep her busy.

As the hours wear on, however, she feels a growing sense of...something. She can't put her finger on it, but there's something that's just not right.

She sleeps on it. The trip was fun, but exhausting in a good way. Sliding into a new satin sleep shirt she got at a boutique in Paris, she curls up in bed with Brownie tucked against her back and Duchess curled against her chest.

It's the perfect end to a perfect trip.

In the morning, she walks the ship looking for the pack. Every scent she finds without a problem, every heartbeat, every voice...all but one.

She's not ready for what she finds when she reaches Isaac's cabin.

There's no announcement. No message on the network, no text to those that know and love him.

Mid morning, the only word that anyone gets about Isaac's departure is the soul-shattering howl of a werewolf in mourning.

She's a nonentity on the ship that day. For a while, at least, Allison stays huddled in the corner of Isaac's abandoned cabin, sobbing openly. Later, if no one's found her there, she will flee down to Zero, where she can be found tucked into the furthest corner of the farmost cell with the door standing open. She'll no longer be weeping openly, but as she stares at the nearest wall, tears continue to spill silently from her eyes as she tries to make the open wound in her chest start healing.

Duke is gone, and she's coped. Zane is gone, and she had Duchess to hold onto, to make that loss easier to bear.

Isaac, however, is gone...she can feel that he's gone, and she can't bear it because she let him in so much further than she had before she arrived on the Barge.

Forgetting life with him is so much harder. It hurts that much more to carve him out of herself...to believe in a world without his constant, comforting warmth until she gets her deal and she can go home.

She has to stitch that hole back up and eliminate everything he gave to her here...because it's the only way she's going to be able to keep going without him.]

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[There's a very delayed response, because the sound of her comm doesn't quite reach her for a few moments as she huddles in the corner of Isaac's empty cabin, sobbing because it's all she can do. She can't rip out the shattered fragments of her heart, she can't get him back...and she can't go home until she's gotten her deal.

In a lull between sobs that have her hugging her sides to try and hold herself together, the sound finally sinks in. Sniffing and hiccuping, she pulls out her comm and sees Tig's message.

She struggles to keep her composure just long enough to type out a reply.]

yes

where are you

[No point in beating around the bush, and he figures she's not going to argue. Not with their dynamic the way it is.

He just needs to check in anyway. Get proof she's still here. That's it.]

[She starts to type leave me alone, but his thinking is right: she stops before she can send the message, hiccuping and struggling to see through the tears.

Pack. Hurts. Help.

She can't abandon her pack, can't let Tig think the worst...and the animal in her head howls louder still, calling out to him so intensely she has to clench her teeth to resist the urge to let the signal for pack roll out of her throat.

Deleting the message, she sends a different one.]

Isaac's old cabin.

on my way

[It's an odd place for her to be, for her to make for a meeting point, but the recent chaos being what it's been, he doesn't think twice. Jax has been hard to get ahold of so far, maybe she's having problems too. He's not jumping to conclusions, not making assumptions. Jax is around, he has to be. Just with his warden, maybe, going through the motions. Same as he is now.

He won't leave her hanging for long, makes his way over right after and knocks on the doorjamb before trying the handle.]

[When she manages to read the message through her tears, she tries hard to calm down. She fights the sobs until it causes her pain, uses every trick she knows to stop crying from holding her breath to pinching the skin between her thumb and forefinger.

Nothing works.

So when he tries the handle on the now standard cabin door, it opens without effort...and inside the empty, generic cabin, he will find Allison huddled in the corner, covering her face with her hands, still sniffling and hiccuping and making low, keening sounds as she tries to stop herself from crying.]

[He doesn't know what to expect, figures its a variation on the same shit that's been going on.

What he definitely doesn't expect is Allison practically breaking down in the corner. It doesn't take him long to cross the distance, to scoop her into his arms and hold her tight after crouching down to her level.]

Hey. Hey, baby, it's okay. I got you. What happened?

[When he pulls her in, she lets him, huddling into the animal comfort of body heat and pressure as he holds on tight. The familiar smell of leather, nicotine, and gun oil brings back a little bit of reason...enough to speak as she presses her face against his shoulder, muffling her voice and her sobs.]

Isaac...he-he's not--the ship took--I can't...he's gone, Daddy...he's gone...

[And for just a moment, that's all their is: the comfort of a father's embrace and a lost, broken little girl leaving the animal behind to hurt because the boy she loves is gone.

And she can never see him again...at least not until she gets her deal.]

[He cards fingers through her hair, rubs a hand along her back. He knows how this part goes, he's done it enough, just as baffled, just as lost in terms of whys or whats or hows. Little girls trapped between parents almost perpetually at odds learn quick how to manipulate. How to exploit. That fathers are, by and large, ultimately powerless against little girl tears, no matter how sincere they're meant. But it's a good distraction from his own search, the one he abandoned to come here. To see what had her so upset.]

Hey. C'mon. Shhh. Start from the beginning.

[She just shakes her head at first, but after a couple moments, she's able to lift her head, sniffling and hiccuping with tears still streaming down her face as she tries to look at him.]

Isaac, he-he was with me in Paris. We had the b-best time, everything was f-f-fine and--and I came back and--this is his cabin, Tig. And it's all gone.

He wouldn't leave without-without telling me. Saying goodbye. He's--he's just gone.

[She clearly wants to say more, but all that escapes her is another choked sob as her head falls back to Tig's shoulder.]

Yeah, I know. Admiral's a dick, sweetheart. I'm sorry, I know you liked the kid.

[It's about par for the course, and he can't offer anything better, no matter how much he wants to. No matter how much her hurt breaks his heart, there's nothing he can fucking do about it, not with the Admiral who the fuck knows where. So he cradles her to his chest, rocks her a little, like he used to do with his own girls. Presses a kiss to the top of her head and just holds her, because it's the best he can do.

The more time passes the more he really fucking hates the Barge. Hates the Admiral for what he does in the name of Helping; shit, he's worse than most wardens because they're at least honest about what they're trying to accomplish. The Admiral just says nice, hopeful words and still bends them all over, expecting they'll just take it time after time after time.]

33) will i ever hear your voice again? the darkness is like an old friend...

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