theresalwayshope | Allison's Voicemail

Fuck.

fucking fuckity fuck

Hang on. Lemme talk to my god.

Just maybe hang out at home for a bit, I'll come by when I have answers.

[There's a minute or two of silence on Allison's end, because that triumphant giddiness for the prospect of having sex with a girl is still so new.

It's...nice.]

so is that a yes?

[Please say yes, please say yes...]

To sex?

I mean, yeah. I just want to make sure if I don't accept that bounty that it still gets your face off the poster.

And also that my lack of a penis isn't a problem

what? no, daisy. take the bounty! if you like wine, i mean--you can share a bottle with me if it makes you feel better, but if you don't like booze? see if he'll give you something else. there's no reason not to take advantage.

as for the lack of a penis, maybe a strap on is acceptable?

[...she texted, far more bravely than she feels, because now that mental image is making her brain and her libido do strange things...]

I don't have a strap on. I thought about asking for one but then I decided to be a smartass and said Surprise me and now I have a string of balls I have no clue what to do with. But anyway.

Listen. I want to, as much as possible, have sex with you because you want to and you're pretty and tough as nails and I like you, and I bet you taste amazing and make gorgeous sounds when you come. Not because the god of tits and wine is bribing me.

Go to the temple and ask them about signing on with a god if you're sure you wanna do that.

kay?

ok. i'll hit the temple before i head home.

[Allison may never get rid of the dopey grin on her face. She thinks for a moment, then sends another text.]

i was thinking about asking you out. before this, i mean. you're way prettier than me, and you're strong, and you're funny, and you have this way of smiling that makes me really want to try kissing you.

Like. On a date? Really?

well, yeah. nothing super fancy, i had this idea about finding a really nice nighttime rooftop view somewhere, and a picnic dinner with some drinks. we could swap crimefighting stories or something.

is that a stupid idea?

It doesn't sound stupid at all. It sounds pretty nice.

Kind of perfect actually.

so that's a yes, then? after this, i mean. solve the bounty problem, then take our time and enjoy it. how's that sound?

Rational and doable. Let me just make sure we can, actually, solve the bounty problem first. Then I'm all yours.

all mine. i like the sound of that. :P

i'll be crossing my fingers. and opening my front door carefully until i see you. do you really think it could get, like, crazy?

;)

I don't THINK so? I haven't met anybody so far that heavily pinged my skeeve-o-meter. But, you know. Never hurts to be cautious.

;D (damn it, these devices need better emojis)

right. so staying armed in the house until i see the whites of your eyes. it's times like this i really wish i had a baseball bat.

Yeah, they do. A music streaming app would be nice too. I miss my tunes.

Maybe you could ask your patron for one?

OMG, YES! i need music, srsly. working out is hard without some decent jock rock or something.

my patron. god, why do i suddenly feel like i'm living in moulin rouge? XD

UGH RIGHT? These gods are going about it all the wrong way. Offer me good coffee and an mp3 player preprogrammed with all the best 80s and 90s cheese and I'll bone down however you want me to.

It does kinda sound like that, doesn't it? Of course if we were, we'd actually have music.

we should shoot for that. after we take care of this bounty, we can get together and see if we can get our patrons to pony up. i'll ask for coffee, you can ask for the mp3 player. ooh, i'll ask for the beans and grow it! then we'll have as much as we need. :)

i can hum the elephant love medley when you get here. :P

Now that's a good idea. Did I ever tell you I find girls with big brains sexy? ;)

We can duet. In the non-sexing way.

[Oh no. Allison is grinning and blushing because Daisy Thinks She's Sexy.]

funny. you're real funny. fyi, i think a sense of humor is extra sexy.

non-sexing? does that mean the bounty won't be satisfied if we're sexing? a rousing duet could be amazing foreplay. ;p

wait til I start in on the terrible puns. Then let me know if my sense of humor is still a turn on. :P

You know what, i think a rousing duet SHOULD satisfy the bounty. It'd be awesome. like a Bollywood movie.

hey! puns can be funny!

maybe it would come closer to counting if we did the duet naked? IDK how you feel about ewan macregor or nicole kidman, but THAT would have made the elephant love medley WAY more interesting. ;p

Allison's Voicemail

text;

Re: text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;