24} so i stayed in the darkness with you...

[theresalwayshope]

[When the feed clicks on, Allison is visibly upset. She's also not in her cabin, as evidenced by her surroundings. Her eyes and nose are red: she's been crying, and recently, but she's deadly calm as she speaks.

She has to be, or else she's going to hurt someone. The feed isn't totally steady, because her hand is shaking, and in a rare occurrence, Duchess is nowhere to be seen.]

Isaac's in a coma.

[And this is the part of her new condition she wasn't prepared for, this wild fury and soul-deep grief all mixed up and so intense her free hand is just out of sight, balled into a fist, claws digging into her own palm so the pain will keep her from shifting. She's been like this since she found him over an hour ago, since she picked him up off the floor of his room and put him into bed...

Since the tears and pleading for him to wake up turned to animal snarls she couldn't control, and she glimpsed her transformed face in the mirror for the first time.

She's human now as her eyes well up again, but there's something clearly animal in the way she bares her teeth as she speaks.]

Anyone that comes near his cabin without my permission is getting their throat torn out.

[She can feel the beast rising, she doesn't dare risk more...abruptly, the feed goes dead to all but those on her private filters.]

[Extended Pack Filter]

That goes for you guys, too...just knock first, okay? I'm in Isaac's cabin, and I just...

[She trails off, her eyes flashing gold. Her jaw tenses, and fangs are visible just past her lips, her features shifting as she fights the rising change.]

I need some time to...calm down.

Comments

private

[imfollowinghim]

You alright?

private

[theresalwayshope]

[There's a long, tense moment of no reaction from Allison before she finally, jerkily manages to shake her head in the negative.

She's not okay. She's extremely not okay, and her voice cracks as she speaks.]

Don't...you shouldn't come around me. I'm--I can stay put. Stay with him, that's easy and I can do that, but...I don't know if I can promise to do o-or not do anything else right now.

private

[imfollowinghim]

That's okay. You just need to try and stay calm, alright? It's okay to be scared, but Isaac's gonna be fine.

[private]

[lydiascreams]

[It scares Lydia when she first sees Allison, and when she actually says what happened, she's almost relieved. Yes, she knows it's scary. She was scared when it happened to Andrew, when it happened to Needy and when it happened to Jackson. But they all came back unharmed. And that's the reminder Allison needs right now.]

Sweetie. I know how terrifying this is, but people always come back. I need you to take a deep breath and remember that, okay?

[private]

[theresalwayshope]

I know...I know. Duke...Duke came back.

[She's trying to breathe between talking, but it isn't helping, and her anchor...it feels dangerous. For the first time, she feels like she has to fight it, like she can't give into the wolf because she'll drown if she does.

The wolf doesn't know. It's lost a packmate and it's mourning, pining...and she doesn't want to feel the depth and the darkness of that loneliness threatening to consume her beast, she's irrationally afraid she won't survive it.

So she's fighting...and the wolf is getting angry.]

I know he'll come back...I just...Lydia, it hurts.

[Her voice breaks over the word, because it's so much worse than that. The human weeps, but the beast inside of her is baying, howling for its mate, and it's frightening.

Allison is scared, and she can't admit it as she presses a fist against her closed eyes and tries to bite back a lupine snarl.]

It hurts, and I can't...my anchor, I can't do it. I just--I can't.

[private]

[lydiascreams]

[It's the word anchor that really gets to Lydia. Because it's easy for her to think about Andrew and Needy and even Jackson. No, easy isn't the word, because she still worries about them. But she's not connected to them.

When she thinks about this happening with Stiles, that's when she really feels her chest tight. That's when she really feels Allison's despair. She went a whole month without him, and she doesn't want to do that again.]

I know. [This time, her eyes tear up and her voice is a lot more sincere.]

Do you want me to come see you? Stay with you?

[ Video ]

[surfaceshine]

So... this is who you are now?

[It's dry, challenging, both eyebrows raised and his gaze steady.]

[ Video ]

[theresalwayshope]

[Allison shakes her head, a slow, jerky motion as her eyes well up and her voice quavers as she speaks.]

It's not--it hurts. It's...I can't--pain, it's just so much...pain.

[She swallows thickly, lips thinning into something that might or might not be a bitter smile.]

Wounded animals get violent if you get too close...that's what this feels like.

[ Video ]

[surfaceshine]

You're not an animal, Allison. Or at least you weren't.

You don't get to use that excuse.

[private]

[hearrrtofgold]

I will be there in two minutes and I don't want to hear a word against it, young lady.

[private]

[theresalwayshope]

I won't let you in.

I mean it, Duke. Don't come.

[private]

[hearrrtofgold]

If you don't get someone in there with you you're going to be a wreck.

[Private]

[semifreakingnormal]

Allison.

[He keeps his voice calm and his eyes on her. They haven't talked much, since...well. He hasn't wanted to, known how to deal with this, and he still doesn't. But he's never been able to leave people out to try.]

He's still here. He's still breathing. You haven't lost your anchor, he's still right there.

[He says it without bitterness, without hurt, because if they're happy, it's enough. He doesn't want anyone else going through losing an anchor.]

[Private]

[theresalwayshope]

It's not him, Scott...he's not my anchor. I can't--

[She cuts herself off, lowering her gaze...but the filter is private. She has to remind herself of that, but it's hard because she can't do this.

She can get past rage, she can learn to love her dark side, but weakness...she doesn't know if she'll ever come to terms with it.]

I can't...use my anchor. I'm...I-I'm...afraid of it.

[Private]

[semifreakingnormal]

[That surprises him - and he's not sure why, in hindsight, because really...it's not like anyone else had the same sort of anchor he did. Scott feels a small throb in his chest, but it passes: he learned to live without her, at least, without her as his girlfriend. He learned to anchor himself. But he never forgot what it was like to associate her with his calm.]

Why?

[He's careful to stay calm, to be - to be the kind of alpha he thinks he probably needed, when he was first bit. Because she's not just Allison, now, she's a beta, his beta, and he can't just keep ignoring that. He has to be here for her, too.]

What are you afraid of?

[routemistress]

Sometime when you're a bit less stressed, Allison lovey, we need to 'ave a talk about you threatening folk when you really don't need to.

Comas are a right bugger, though. I'm sorry. I 'ope it's a quick one.

[theresalwayshope]

I know...I'm sorry.

[It comes out as a near whisper...remorseful but not exactly contrite as she lowers her gaze to her lap, where her claws are still digging into her own palm. There's blood...plenty of blood, but it's coming in waves as she relaxes her fist, lets her wounds heal, then balls her hand up again when she feels the threat of shifting start to overtake her.]

I guess there's just some aspects of being a werewolf I haven't gotten used to yet.

[LOCKED -- text]

[termofendearment]

He's in a coma. He's still there.

[He's already moving, he doesn't care; it's why it's text and not something more easily visible. She's hurting; he has to see what he can do, regardless of what she says.]

[LOCKED -- text]

[theresalwayshope]

tell that to my furry half

[She can barely type, she can't keep her claws from extending well enough. She can't control the shift like she did, and she's terrified of just that: that Tig is coming, that he's going to start banging on Isaac's door and demand she open up.

She's afraid she won't be able to turn him away...and she's afraid that if she weakens, if she lets her pack in, she might kill them.]

[americasdirtiest]

He's what?

[It's not, like, actually a new phenomenon to him. Helena's in a coma; Tig was in a coma once when Mickey was still his warden; Andrew fell into a coma back when they were still almost going to be friends.

But one thing Mickey's learning about having people is that there are friends and friends, and it's never really hit him before like this. Isaac is his warden, probably his best friend here, the guy he gave his file to... and he knows it shouldn't mean much, because the coma thing, it's happened before to others, but it feels a little like the morning Ian decided to stop getting out of bed. His stomach sinks.]

He-- fuck.

[theresalwayshope]

[That note in Mickey's voice, tight and heavy and maybe just a tiny bit desperate...it actually helps, because it makes the wolf and Allison react at the same time. For a fraction of an instant, the beast is distracted by the suffering of a packmate (mate's pack, my pack, mine mine mine)...and Allison finds enough raw force of will to hold onto control for the precious seconds it takes to talk to Mickey without fear of shifting.]

He's...okay. I'm gonna stay with him until he wakes up...and I'm here if you need me. [She blinks, staring down at the hand that had been balled into a fist, the wounds from her claws already healing and leaving her palm smeared with blood.]

And...if you can't reach me, you can talk to any of my--Isaac's--our friends. Or Duke Crocker...you can trust him, too.

Private

[walkthedarkpath]

[ He choose to ignore the main part of the message mostly because he does not know Issac and that was enough for him to not care. What he cared about was the claws, the changes in her.]

What have you become? [ A rarity used on her, his voice was colder when he spoke. As if he no longer cared at all about the woman he spoke to.]

Private

[theresalwayshope]

[Allison blinks, startled by the tone of Vergil's voice...lacking that borderline genial respect, something cold and hard that raised the hackles of her beast and had her eyes glowing gold, steady and strong as she met his gaze with sudden, dangerous calm.]

I haven't become anything. I'm a hunter, just like I've always been...I just happen to be a werewolf, too.

Private Video

[voluntaryapnea]

Allison...he's gonna be okay. I know it's scary, and I still don't get the whole random coma thing, but he'll be fine. I promise.

Private Video

[theresalwayshope]

I know...I do, I went through this with Duke, but...

[She swallows thickly, lowering her gaze and shutting her eyes tight as the wolf howls in her head, bathing her in solitary darkness of a new moon...no light to see by, no warmth to be had, and nothing but unending blackness for company.

It hurt. More than she knew it should, and she could escape it if she just let the beast in, let herself feel that animal grief...but she was scared.]

It feels different this time. It's a werewolf thing, I think.