theresalwayshope | 008} i'm gonna hide my wings tonight

[PUBLIC - Video]

[When the feed clicks on, Allison is in her bedroom in her cabin. She's sitting cross-legged, hair mussed and still in her pajamas, having clearly just woken up. She's also wearing a cardigan that some parties may recognize as being pilfered from a certain new werewolf arrival's room, but she's not talking about that right now. She's smiling, and she looks pretty sleepy...but she also looks pretty darn happy.]

Morning, Bargees. [She grins, wrinkling her nose cutely.] I haven't really checked in with peeps since port, so I just wanted to see how everyone was doing.

[She pauses, her expression still soft, but...a little more sober.]

I guess...I don't know, I've just been kind of thinking. A warden arrived recently that...made me stop to appreciate how lucky I am to have my pack here. See, werewolves in my world? They're stronger in packs, literally. And wolves without a pack? They're called Omegas. It's...the worst thing in the world a wolf can be. Alone, friendless...clawing, fighting to survive every day. And I hate to think that anyone on this ship...could be an Omega.

So...if this ship is a pack? Then no matter how alone you are, I'm your packmate. Warden, inmate, my door's always open. And it's not, like, pity or anything, or even sympathy, it's...I care. I really do.

[The sudden earnestness in her face is real, because she's having another of those moments she tries to hide from the pack: where she feels the weight of her own mortality. Her friends are going to save her, but...she's still sort of scheduled to die.

So are they all...and the sudden revelation makes her chest tight as she realizes that nobody, not anyone, deserves to be alone should the end ever come. Even on the Barge, where it can come a hundred times.

Allison will do anything to make sure that doesn't happen.]

[Private - Vergil]

Hey, Vergil! No biggie, I just wanted to see how you were doing. We didn't really get to talk much after port, did you have fun?

[Pack Filter]

Haven't talked to any of you much since Isaac got here, but...you all know Isaac got here, right? And yes, Isaac, I know you can see this. I just...want everyone to be on the same page.

[She pauses, taking a deep breath as she carefully keeps her face schooled into happy, fond lines. She has to hide the weight of the emotion she's feeling. She has to make sure that none of them see that maybe a rough day is coming for her, one where she might need to be alone to either cry or scream or just stare at the passing stars on deck and let silent tears of pure gratitude slide down her cheeks.

The worst, the most visceral, the most intense parts of dealing with her impending demise, she will do alone.]

And I wanted to tell you guys that I love you.

[That's it. That's the message...because they need to hear it. Every day, every second, until they're sick of it...so just in case, just in case, they will be drenched in it for the rest of their lives.

Every day, she's going to tell her pack she loves them...so it will be impossible for them to ever feel her love is missing from their lives if she somehow doesn't come back to life when their deals are fulfilled.]

((pre-dated fourth wall day transmission, because tomorrow morning may be too hectic for me to get this up. :P))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He grimaces a little when she sees through it, and sighs for a moment before flicking on the filter.]

He just is, Mom. But he's not that bad. I mean, he's not like Jackson. [He feels mostly guilt free about that potshot.] He just gets...snarky, I guess.]

[She hasn't thought about Jackson in years. Not since he died and-- created a cocoon or whatever the hell that was. But she doesn't like that specific comparison.]

How long have you been there, Scott? How much longer will you be there for?

[He's a little more prepared, after talking to Kira. He doesn't have to count out the months.]

Almost a year. But it's okay, when I leave, I'll just go back to when I left. Like I never wound up in space at all.

[He shrugs a little, hoping that will satisfy her and fairly certain it won't.] I have an inmate, Mom. He needs me.

[It most certainly doesn't satisfy her. But then, nothing will short of her son being home. Which he technically is, but he isn't. And she's not build for wrapping her head around that kind of stuff. And if he's been there so long, does he not even know about Allison? Maybe it's better if he doesn't.]

That inmate of yours, is he-- safe? [She's imagining some huge guy with prison tattoos and terrible attitude.]

Yeah. [His smile is quick and easy, because of all the bad things here, Jack isn't one of them. He's always been a steady presence, and sometimes more than a little comforting.]

Yeah, he's a good guy. I promise he's not, like, some Russian mafioso or something.

He's an inmate, Scott, how can he be a good guy?

[Melissa sighs and shakes her head. It's not like she can do much, apparently. Can she ever?]

Take care of yourself, alright? And be safe, Scott.

Sometimes people just need someone to listen.

[It's okay, though: he won't argue this too much with her. She's just being a mom: she's always going to worry about him. It makes him smile a little, pleased, and loved, and homesick.]

I will. I promise I will. [Himself, and everyone else.]

I love you, Mom.

I love you too, sweetheart.

[And what else is there to say? Her son's choice is always to help others. And she's proud of him. But she will always worry.]

008} i'm gonna hide my wings tonight

[private]

[private]

[private]

[private]

[private]

[private]

[private]

[private]